The Beauty Of Letting Go

The evening was dark and gloomy and it was raining with lots of wind blowing towards the east. A blue and white house stood as a tall tower in my view. The lights were left on in the two front windows and one on the top floor. The thunder roared like a lion claiming its territory. I had nothing on to protect my skin from the cold and the rain. My hair was soaked and it covered my face as I stood at the front door of one guy that I was seeking revenge on. The more my hand drew closer to the doorbell anger and depression grew on me like cancer, it grew all over. I couldn’t cry but I could seriously hurt Jacob or myself. I fell to my knees on the cold lonely concrete stairwell and I burst like a balloon, into tears. I couldn’t believe that I was going this far to ruin the family he made over the years, how was it that I still loved someone that walked all over my heart and left me for another woman? From that moment on the rain came down harder and the thunder sounded louder than ever. I thought back on the times when he kicked me out of his car and made me walk back to our apartment and he even slandered my character. He beat me until my nose bled and my skin bruised up all because I tried to love him the right way. I was really broken but the only thing I was able to do was hide the knife and just find a garden in their yard to pray in. This wasn’t like me to go after a predator and kill it off especially if I was the prey. In the backyard I found a beautiful garden to just sit down and pray in because I was in a tight place. I had no control over the animosity and depression I felt so I let go and trusted my creator. My tears watered the garden as I relived all the harmful memories and felt the excoriating pain in my stomach and heart. Someone must have been beating me down to my grave and trying to bury me in my humiliation. I lie there in the garden on my stomach and let my face inhale the fresh air of a new beginning. After an hour of being alone and crying until I passed out I got up from the garden and made it my business to be the bigger person and move on. I was weary from the hurt that I couldn’t walk straight so I did Jacob and his family the favor of touching their home and praying for them. The rain stopped and the darkness had been turned into light, still soaked I dragged my feet to the car I drove in and wiped my eyes as I sat patiently behind the wheel. I knew at that moment my hurt and everything was finished and me as a person I became stronger than my predator, surviving the anxiety of the chase. There was a rainbow visible to me on the other side and I followed it because I found the gold at the end of the rainbow. 

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