Is it normal to outgrow the church you attended all your life?

It’s been about nineteen years, since I’ve been alive upon the face of the earth. First, I have to give God the honor and the glory! I thank Christ for dying on the cross for my sins, and for him being so understanding and loving. There are many things that God will always impart in you, and offer you that the church may not offer. God is always bigger than our problems, but there’s something that has been heavy on my heart for a few years now. Forgive me if I hurt feelings, but the truth must be spoken.

Our parents placed us in the church as kids, we attended every sunday and made sure we stayed for second service, also. I know some of you have that pet peeve, where you dislike when the pastor is just babbling and not saying something very interesting. One of my pet peeves, were when I’d hear the same old message for seven sundays straight. I didn’t hate it, but I thought I could be learning something new. I’m a firm believer in Christ, but I like to listen to a pastor that knows what he’s talking about.

Some churches have servants that takes, titles to their heads but I’m not with that at all. Personally, I have adjusted to how bishop T.D Jakes has been preaching. I love how his style of preaching has such a positive effect on me. It’s the fact that when he preaches, he uses the bible stories and gets his point across using it. That is something interesting to me, also for the fact that I can relate to what it is that I’m going through. It’s one thing to go to church and get a word, and not learn anything, but it’s also another thing to go to church and learn something that you can apply to your life.




A church that has to ask for 50 offerings in one sunday is ridiculously crazy. I only say this because there are two main offerings that belongs to God. There’s TITHES (that’s what we owe, 10%) and there’s the regular offering(determines how much you want to give). When a pastor preaches about something you already know, and keeps asking for 10 million offerings — That’s what drives the disciples away.

When you get older, it’s also okay to outgrow your home church because maybe you’re looking for something that suites you more. Now, I’m not saying that you should turn on your church home and forget where you came from. It’s important to always remember where you came from. You wouldn’t have been that person you were today w/o the help of your church home. Sometimes your church home can also turn on you and do things differently. I’ve seen churches that were out of order and I leave that in god’s hands, because I’m no one to judge that!! The purpose of having a church is for the pastor to build relationships with the disciples, and to lead the flock. You can’t lead the flock and not know what’s going on with them, or why you’re losing members.


When you find another church that best suites your praise and worship for God, it’s better that you do that — rather than sitting in the same old place, not feeling sincere about your worship. I will forever believe in God, but right now I’m seeking another church that has what I’ve been looking for. Things change and God won’t get mad at you for trying to find a more suitable way to worship and serve him. You want a church that works as a team with not just the fellowshiping, but the congregation feels strongly positive about where they are.


Oh say can you see “A LIVING TESTIMONY”?

Good Evening world,

I’m asking that if you have a weak heart or something that quickly makes you emotional, please do not read any further. This is all by fact and not made up or fiction. This is based off of my 10 month challenge/ test and I wanted to share it with those that may be going through something similar. Please feel free to comment and share your ideas or thoughts. I do ask that you keep it positive and leave advice for others that may need help!! By all means, DO NOT judge a book by its’ cover, EVER!!

I know some of you may not believe in God, or maybe the Son of the prodigal. There’s a lot of talk going around that God doesn’t exist, but please allow me to correct that. I have been living in this body for almost nineteen years, and I’ve seen miracles worked on over me. I’m not the easiest person to deal with when it comes to relationships or friendships, because I’m sometimes hard to handle. I was made into a human formed animal that was never meant to be tamed, unless God had instructed for it to happen.

For about ten months I was going through an emotional and spiritual battle. The devil is real, and yes he does try to do things to make you go under. I was becoming more and more anger by the day because, of two specific people that used me. Normally, I’m humble and I hold my tongue but today I finished my test and came out on top. To make a long story short, I had been dating someone that was of the age 23. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him but I wasn’t in love with him. I spent half of my savings on him, by purchasing things for him to keep him around. I wasn’t trying to but love, but I was trying to keep things spontaneous.

I paid his car note for him, only with us agreeing on the terms of paying it back. He never paid it back, so he’s a thief. Than I purchased different amount of gift cards for him to dine wherever he liked. There was Friday’s, Applebee’s, Red Lobsters, and much more. My non-regret was getting him a study bible, because he claimed he wanted to come closer to God. Now, mind you — People use God for their benefits, just to get what they want. I sent him the bible, gift cards, personal love letters and just about everything else a woman would send her man. Except I wouldn’t label this one as a man because he was more of a little boy to me.

He cheated on me months after, I was in Florida for about three months. I was there on a personal getaway, so that I could think straight and recollect myself. One day I paid his phone bill, which was about 100 and change. He ended all communication lines between us and took another woman to his home island, Dominica. He blocked me on FB, would answer my emails, wouldn’t answer my text, or my phone calls. I made another account and I searched him up, long behold he was cheating. He had this girl all over him like a robber, trying to get some value from his account.

I was hurt and, yes I cried. I wasn’t hurt because I loved him, I was hurt because I wore my heart on my sleeve. I was thinking about all the kind-hearted and pure-hearted people around the world. The ones that went through the same troubles as myself. We get walked all over and no one cares about us. He practically robbed me of my bank account and kept it moving. I found it crazy, because money was going missing like crazy. He was no good, but before I could take it to my brothers (they ┬ádon’t play) I prayed about it. I got on my knees and cried through that long prayer.

I had a severe headache but I took a shower and got in the bed afterwards. I cried myself to sleep, but soon after came another guy that I fell in love with. To think about it now, he wasn’t worth much nor was he going places in life. I say this because he fashioned the same old attitude and approach, every single day. Trying to produce beats for a living when half his music was crap. I didn’t want to hurt feelings, but now I’m insured enough to talk. Those beats weren’t even selling enough to leave him with enough left over money for anything extra. It sucks when you don’t have much but you need the person, that you’re out to kill.

He called me every night to make sure that I was settled. I didn’t know what his motives were, but in the beginning I had no interest in him, because he was just like every other boy that walked the face of the earth. I wouldn’t really call him a trend setter, because he followed the crowd and did what he was dictated to do. With me you can’t be two different kind of people and them try to balance it out. This boy didn’t know who he was as a person, he was very lost. I learned to care for him as the weeks went along, because he pulled that sobby story. “I don’t have money for enough food,” or “I only ate once today.” I wanted to help him but thank God he told me not too.

Later on in the months, after doing all this oovoo’ing and Skyping we allowed him to come over. I wanted to see if this boy was really like, what he claim he wasn’t. He said he wasn’t a player, and that he was a faithful person. Maybe he was right about being faithful, but he was never a true friend to start with. I thought of him as an annoying person, because he didn’t know how to leave me alone. Why couldn’t he just get his life and keep it moving? This is why you can’t always be the nice guy.

So he spent a few nights and we ended up in a relationship, unexpectedly. I cried that night we sat there looking out the window, as it rained because I loved him deeply. I loved him because he seemed hopeless and lost. I thought he needed some type of guidance but by the right people. He wasn’t slow or retorted, he just made wrong choices. I always had this premonition that he would die before his time. I wasn’t wishing that, but I became very worried because I didn’t want to see something happen to him and I knew it was going to happen. He treated me very badly, he claimed that his best decision was throwing me away as a friend. I was hurt but I couldn’t say or do much. I remained respectful of him and I didn’t argue or call him out of his name this time. He hated me with a passion because I was so different.

My heart was heavy last night when he told me how he felt about me. Basically, I wasn’t someone he wanted in his life. I wasn’t worth much and that I was trash. I didn’t pray but I did cry all night, because as much as I argued with him, I could never fix my heart to say what he said. I had a dream and I was in this garden with Jesus. He was sitting right next to me and my heart felt very light and alive. I hadn’t told Him what I knew, but He already knew. I figured I was coming to the close of my test. I was tired of being angry, with a weary heart. I felt like I was dying everyday, until I was awakened with good news. Jesus had told me to tell this boy that his day was coming very soon, and sooner than he thought. I didn’t know what it meant, if it was good or bad.

I delivered the message, as he had an attitude with me because I was texting it to him. I don’t know why he caught an attitude because God’s message was way more important than some chick that couldn’t offer you eternal life. He would say, “Don’t blow up my phone” or something slick. I didn’t get nasty with him but I felt something in my body. I felt that old man fall off me and die. I had to sit down on the couch because I was losing feeling in my feet and legs. My heart felt like it was stopping, only because I wasn’t letting go of my test. I wasn’t supposed to become attached to it and love it. I was supposed to be learning and understanding.

I died for a few seconds and came back to the ‘Kenyona’ that I’d been searching for, for years now. Sometimes we don’t realize how much we do for a person. We could get ambushed and still not care about our own conditions. I wasn’t stable enough because I had been stampeded by these two people, they had no hearts. I remained a true friend to both of these guys but they asked me to get out of their lives. One of them was actually proud to have thrown me away, like Satan had taken over his being. God gave me something very important in return, with the physical and spiritual strength I regained.

My ears became sharper to hear, and my heart became bigger with the right focus this time. For example, I was in the basement with my bedroom door closed. I could hear my phone ringing and it wasn’t that loud. This gives me enough wisdom to hear what it is that people have to say about me from miles away. I won’t kill you for hating me, but God has something more intriguing in store for those that try to harm me, physically and spiritually. I have a gift of not just sharper ears, but I can see and hear from the Father through dreams/visions. It wasn’t my first time getting a visit from Him.

Javis’s day is coming ……I don’t know what that means but I guess God said, enough is enough!! He could act as if he got it all together, BUT I DO KNOW A MAN NAMED JESUS!!!




I hear a lot of people saying that church is in their hearts. Some say that, you can’t stay home to worship because that’s what the sanctuary was built for. God would prefer if we worship in His temple. But what about the people that are sick and shut in? I’m sure that God would accept there worship, anyway too. This fuss has been going on for centuries, and we need to find the resolution. I’ve been in the situation where, I went to church and worshiped in the sanctuary with the congregation. The experience is very hands on but there’s also some factors that keep people from walking through those church doors.


I’ve heard many people say that the pastor may ask for too many offerings. They felt that the only offering that should be asked for is the “Tithe and offering” because that’s what we owe to God. I know I looked for a new church in Florida, because my church would do the same. It was all a matter of me outgrowing where I didn’t want to be anymore. The people I grew up with in the church were either, knocked up or went to being in a gang. Do I agree with it? NO! But things happen and there will be cost for it.


A few others say that, when you sit at home and watch church on television; it’s better. You still have to find a way to pay tithes and offering but you also don’t get that “hands on” experience. I would know this because, I’ve done it before and it was very challenging. I’m not saying it’s okay to not go to church or to worship from the comfort of your home. Make sure that however you worship, it’s sincere and meant for God and GOD ONLY!